made in the philippines

yesterday, i was in old navy with my mom, doing some shopping for long-sleeved shirts to bring to oregon with me (i'm employed! i have a job and am moving in like ... ten days!), and one of the shirts i wanted to get said "made in the philippines" on the tag. and i really, really struggled with it. i know that a lot of people are big on boycotting china-made products for the human rights violations that occur there ... and most people tend to ignore things made in the philippines, indonesia, taiwan, etc - all of which, i'm sure, have just as horrible of working conditions. i have mixed feelings about it - the conditions are certainly awful and not excusable, but ... it's also providing income for a lot of families that otherwise would not have any income at all. it's difficult.

but this "made in the philippines" really hit me. i could have met someone who worked in that factory and made that shirt ... slaving hard hours to be paid a few pesos. somehow it felt more personal.

oosh.

this transition back to first world living is hard. stores completely overwhelm me, and if i'm out in shops too long i start to get really nervous and uncomfortable - feeling so confined, like i have to escape (i last about ten minutes). there are so many options! the materialism boggles my mind. one of the most humbling moments was looking through my boxes of things and realizing that i myself probably own more than my entire host family (that would be eight people) in the philippines. that first week, i didn't even leave the house - it was just too much.

at the same time, completely selfishly (and materialistically), i am enjoying having variety in my life again - food, shoes, clothing.

and at first, i didn't miss it at all; but i've started looking through my pictures and there are lots of little, everyday things that i do miss. things that i usually didn't bother sharing in here because they were so ... normal.